The One Thing They Can't Do
by Queen Readalot
Summary: An old fear has returned to haunt the Flock, but will Iggy find a way around it? COMPLETE RANDOMNESS. Set post TFW. Twoshot, written as a result of boredom.
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N: **Hey y'all! Read Maximum Ride and totally loved it. And I know I'm being a horrible author and ditching all my other projects but I just couldn't help myself. At least it's only a twoshot this time. And it's a completely random one too. Well, here it is, and I hope I can revisit this fandom in the future!

**IMPORTANT**: POVS (point of views) are as follows: Max, and then a third-person point of view. I put this because I hate those POV tags.)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Maximum Ride. If I did, you would see more Iggy, less Fax and more plot (I actually kinda like Fax, but it's dominating the storyline now and that annoys me. And of course Iggy is awesome)

The One Thing They Can't Do

Chapter 1

It began as a relatively normal day in the Martinez household. I say _relatively _because nothing is ever normal around here. Being in a flock of mutant-bird kids forever marks anything you do as abnormal.

My name is Maximum Ride. I'm a part avian, part human hybrid that was created to save the world. (Long story, trust me. If you really want to hear it all, read the books.)

Our "normal" day consists of my Flock and I, who are currently residing at my mom's house in Arizona, waking up that an hour that does not constitute as way too early, hanging around with my half-sister, flying around some…

Ok, I lied. That is totally _not _normal for us. My Flock and I are usually on the run, hiding in big cities, basically acting like runaway fugitives. None of us wanted to go back to the School where we spent the beginning of our lives. But I digress.

So, it really began as a relaxed day in the Martinez household. For once, my guard was as low as I could get it and I was enjoying chilling with everyone, looking at each other like "_Hey, isn't it awesome that we're not in a near-death situation?" _Times like this were really the only ones I could just enjoy the company of my Flock, my closest friends and family. I could never live without them.

There was me. Maximum Ride. The leader. The one who made all the decisions, all the plans. I guided us through our many escapades and we escaped with our lives. I think that's an achievement and I'm proud of myself for that. I had a "Voice" in my head (don't ask) and could fly at crazy speeds.

Then there's Fang. Mr. Rock. Dark and mysterious. He was my right-hand man, a calming influence on our group and the steady opposite to my passionate leadership. He was the one I trusted. Although recently, I didn't know _what _to feel towards him.

Next, Iggy. He's blind, but most of the time we barely noticed because of the way he's adapted. He's our very own sexist, six-foot tall, sarcastic pyromaniac. Oh yeah, Iggy is definitely one of a kind.

Gasman. Eight years old, with a perchance for blowing things up and is partner-in-crime to Iggy. He's called the Gasman for a reason_, _and trust me, you do _not_ want him in a closed, air-tight space with you. Under any circumstances.

Last, but certainly not least, is Angel. Our own adorable little six-year old, complete with mind-reading powers, the ability to breathe underwater, and is working on perfecting her mind control skills. Sometimes, that girl just scares me.

Anyway, our day started nice enough. But with a warning, a scream and an amazing new skill, it all went to heck.

* * *

><p>The Flock was crowded around a hazy television screen, glancing worriedly around at each other as the weather-report woman talked animatedly.<p>

"What do you think?" Nudge whispered, lowering her voice like it would affect their newly-acquired news. "What should we do? This is bad, guys. This is really bad."

Max nodded, her lips set tight in a grim line. "We have to be careful. And to do that…" She set up an immediate action plan. "…we need to stay inside all day. This is a must, okay guys? Close all the curtains, stay away from windows and keep together." She gave the whole flock her infamous 'Max Glare' "No matter how boring it is. Agreed?" She hissed, still in a whisper.

The whole flock muttered their consent.

"Agreed to what?" Said a suddenly loud voice behind them. "GYAHH!" The Gasman shrieked, and Nudge fell off her chair in surprise. The rest of the Flock got into their battle stances.

"Whoa, whoa!" Ella backed up, her hands up in a calming gesture. "Chill, guys. It's just me. What's going on?"

The Flock exchanged glances (except for Iggy, of course) and Max whirled around to face her half-sister. "That." She tilted her head towards the television screen. "That is what's going on."

Ella glanced at the television. She raised an eyebrow. "O…kay?"

Max's eyes darted to the screen, and saw an episode of Sesame Street playing. "Uh, no. Not that." She grabbed the remote from a snickering Iggy, and with a final glare at him, flipped the channel back to the weather report for the day. "That."

Ella just seemed to look more confused. "…Yeah? So? That's not so weird."

Fang spoke up, his voice hoarse from a constant state of disuse. "It's bad news for us bird-kids. That has ruined many an avian mutant." He groaned in frustration at the five shocked stares sent his way. "You know what, guys? Maybe the reason I never talk is because you're always super-shocked when I do! Did that ever occur to you? Huh?"

The Gasman whistled. "That has got to be-"

"..the longest sentence I've ever said, yeah. I speak, you know! I can talk in complete sentences!"

Max beckoned to Ella. "See?" She whispered to her. "The cruel power of _that _is already working." She gestured to Fang who was still ranting. "It really messes with us. It makes us out-of-character, or something. We don't mess with _that_."

Ella shrugged. "Well, sure." She said. "Good luck with that." She beat a hasty exit.

Max sighed, looking wearily out of the window. "Guys." She said, still whispering. "Get going with those curtains."

* * *

><p>"I'm bored." Iggy stated.<p>

Max ground her teeth. "Yes, Iggy. We heard you the first two hundred times."

"Well, I'm still bored."

Hours had passed, and the Flock was huddled up in the darkened living room. This did not bode well for the hyperactive group.

"Play rock, paper, scissors or something." Max suggested.

"Done that." Iggy mumbled

"Guess which celebrity?"

"Did that too." Iggy muttered, picking aimlessly at his nail cuticles.

"Annoying songs?"

Iggy snorted "Did you not _hear _the "100 bottles of pop on the wall" refrain done _twice_?" He asked disbelievingly.

Max nodded. "Point taken. How about I Spy? A card game? Charades?"

"Max?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm blind."

"Oh." Max said, looking embarrassed. "Yeah. Sorry. I don't know, just occupy yourself, please."

Another few moments were spent in silence.

Nudge couldn't take it anymore. "Guys! I totally have to tell you something! So I was like, passing this car one day, and it was like totally spray-painted neon green! So I just pointed at it and laughed and then the owner rolled down the window and said…"

Angel groaned, rubbing her eyes. "I'm sleepy."

"Well, I'm still bored."

"Shut up, Iggy!" Max snapped.

"…what are you laughing at? And I was like dude, your car is totally spray-painted neon green! And he was like, no it isn't, and I was like, yes it was, and he was like, no it isn't, and I was like, yes it was go check! And he checked and he was like…"

Fang grunted.

"I'm bored." Iggy moaned

"…OMG, I totally did not see that! It must have been those damn teenagers! And then he said all these others things that Max would kill me if I repeated."

Angel groaned. "I'm trying to sleep!"

The Gasman farted. Immediate chaos was unleashed.

"Ew, Gazzy!"

"Open a window, for God's sake!"

"No! Remember _what's out there!_"

"Max, that cannot be worse than this…"

"No, you can't! Stay put!"

And in the midst of all the chaos, a figure slipped out into the night, an evil grin forming on their face.

(**A/N: **Okay…that came out a lot weirder than I expected. Seriously…this is really weird. So I decided to make it in two parts. Will Max ever calm down? Will Fang burst out into more speech? What is _that_? Who slipped out into the obvious danger? FIND OUT NEXT TIME!

Please review! They are very motivating!)


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N: **Okay, here's chapter two of the randomest story ever! Enjoy :)

Here's to **Petemidnight13 **for the alert and **Humfumfiddilyum **for the review! And a big thanks to **iggysbabe **to the alert, favorite and review! You guys are the best!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Maximum Ride. If I did, it would probably be as random as this. Which is not a very good thing.

Chapter 2

Iggy sneaked out of the house, an evil smirk on his face. Something had just occurred to him. _That _was super-dangerous, and he knew Max might kill him later on. But he had just realized that _that _was dangerous to everybody… except him.

This was going to be _awesome._

* * *

><p>It was about fifteen minutes before Max realized that Iggy was missing. After waiting out the Gasman's spectacular explosion (Angel nearly passed out trying to hold her breath, while Nudge actually did) and everybody was calmed down, Max realized she hadn't heard a certain voice in a while.<p>

She frowned, scanning the room. "Guys…" She said slowly. "Where's Iggy?"

There was a few seconds of silence as everybody took in the situation at hand. And then, pandemonium was unleashed.

Max leapt up. "I'm going to _kill _him! Guys, spread out and search. Now! Check all around the house, and if we don't find him…" She gulped. "We'll have to check…outside."

There was a general shudder around the room.

"Go!" Max barked, swiveling towards the door. "The sooner we find him, the safer we all are!"

* * *

><p>Iggy reached the outside of the house, his movements clumsy as he stumbled over the rocky terrain. The windy day didn't deter him from his mission.<p>

Iggy grinned, plopping down a few ways away from the house. He snapped his head up to the sky and widened his eyes. He waited.

Nothing.

_Yes! _Iggy thought to himself smugly. _Victory! I am so awesome! _He rubbed his hands together gleefully, not caring that he looked very strange doing that. _Now I just have to wait until everybody looks for me outside! Hehe.._

He grinned, leaning back onto the sandy ground and titled his head back up to the sky.

_All I have to do is wait…_

* * *

><p>Gazzy gulped as he stared at the front door.<p>

This was a _bad _idea. Max would murder him if she knew what he was up to. But Gazzy thought it was necessary. After all, this was a search-and-rescue mission. For Iggy. His brother in all but blood. He would risk going…outside….to save him. All he needed to do was look down and keep his eyes away from the sky.

Gazzy reached out a trembling hand and pushed open the front door. With an ominous creak, it swung open wide and the subsequent gust of air nearly knocked him over.

Gazzy very slowly made his way out into the fresh air of the outside world, keeping his eyes firmly rooted on the ground. He closed them too, for good measure."Iggy?" He called out tentatively. For those few seconds he experienced Iggy's world: being unable to really comprehend what was going on around him.

"Gazzy?" Iggy's amused voice pierced the silence. "Hey. Open your eyes very slowly, and look at the ground. I'm here."

He slowly opened his eyes, trusting Iggy despite his pounding heart. What he saw had him give a long, low whistle. After a while, he shook his head and said softly "You've really outdone yourself this time."

* * *

><p>Angel was sifting through various belongings in her room. True, the chances of Iggy being here were very slim, but with him you never really knew. Plus, you never knew what you could find in your own stuff! Like a new, recently displaced stuffed animal, perhaps?<p>

Anyway, after Angel spent a few minutes searching for the stuffe-_Iggy_- she heard something of interest. Two certain voices were sounding from somewhere outside. Voices of thoughts, to be specific.

Angel listened to a few minutes, before feeling a huge smile spread across her angelic face. She rolled back her head and laughed hard for couple of seconds. Angel resumed her work with no further interruption, a gigantic grin still in place.

* * *

><p>Nudge tiptoed down the hall, the intense quiet of the house getting to her a little. She didn't like silence, but she didn't dare break this one. It was really sinister, somehow.<p>

"Iggy," She called quietly, her voice not permitting to rise above a whisper. "Where are you? Come on, Max is worrying!"

Nudge's gaze snapped to the window, watching the drawn curtain flutter just the tiniest bit. She winced, getting an idea that did not appeal to her. Iggy was very certainly outside; there was no way he could have stayed inside if he wasn't found yet. She didn't like this one bit, but it have to be done.

Very slowly, Nudge crept towards the window. She squeezed her eyes shut, and quickly drew the curtain aside. Her fingers found the latch and she swept the window open, getting hit with a small breeze almost instantly. She held a breath and released it in a large gust. This was no time to chicken out. She could just keep her eyes closed and _that _would not get her.

Nudge threw one leg on the sill, then swung around the other. She slowly lowered herself on the sill, eyes still squashed tight. The window was on the ground floor, so it was only a short drop to the ground. "Okay." She thought to herself firmly. "I can do this!"

Nudge pushed off from the windowsill and jumped for the ground. Eyes still closed, she didn't see what she would land on. When she hit the ground, she felt something hard and slightly squishy. What she had hit certainly wasn't the ground.

With a squeak, Nudge backpedaled from what she had landed on as a voice shouted. "Ow! Nudge, what was that for?"

Nudge came to the startling realization that she had landed on Iggy's face. She blushed. "Sorry." Her mission came back to her in a flash. She turned her head towards the sound of Iggy's voice and very nearly shouted. "What are you doing out here? Do you know how dangerous it is?"

Before Iggy could answer, another voice spoke, making Nudge jump. "Don't worry about him, Nudge. He'll be fine. Oh, and you can open your eyes now. Just keep them looking at the ground."

Nudge couldn't believe her ears. "Gazzy? What are you taking about?"

Gazzy's voice repeated his previous instructions. "It'll be okay. Just open your eyes and look at the ground."

Nudge gulped, and very reluctantly flicked her eyes open. She gasped at the sight before her.

Iggy flashed her a grin. "Yo."

For the first time in her young life, Nudge was speechless.

* * *

><p>Fang was annoyed. No, pissed was a better word for it.<p>

This was just such a waste of time. Why did Iggy pick now to disappear? He just didn't feel inclined to look for anybody today. Besides, Iggy would be fine. Despite his blindness, he was a tough guy. He could take care of himself. Should he just stop looking?

Fang gulped, thinking of what Max's reaction would be to that statement. He decided that he liked his face very much the way it was, and would not go complaining to her. Plus, now that he thought about it, the power of _that _might be too much for one guy to go through.

Well, time to check outside.

With no restraint or hesitation, Fang barreled for the nearest door and shut his eyes. He stepped outside the very picture of confidence, shoulders squared and chest out. He was Fang! He had nothing to fear. If anyone could do this search-and–rescue, it was him. After all, he was confident! And confidence was key to succeeding any mission. He was powerful, invincible, fearless! He was…

"Umm..Fang? You can open your eyes now." Iggy's voice.

Fang grinned. He'd done it! But he was unprepared for the sight before him as he opened his eyes, glancing down. He took in what was going on for a good five seconds, eyes widening.

"Hey, Fang!" Said Iggy, waving at him cheerily.

Fang promptly fainted.

* * *

><p>Max was getting worried. Very worried.<p>

A member of the Flock had disappeared right under her nose. Granted, he did that often, and it usually wasn't a big deal. But this time, there was obvious danger. And he'd ignored her outright warning to _stay inside. _

Iggy was _so _dead.

She stomped toward the nearest door in anger. Why did nobody listen to her anymore? Iggy was disappearing more than ever, Gazzy was rebelling, Nudge was growing up, and something fishy was going on with Angel. And Fang…well, he was confusing her more than ever. And now, _that _was a danger to them all. Life was annoying.

Max swung open to the door, too worked up to even close her eyes in fear. She refused to let _that _bring her down. Well…she was keeping her eyes to the ground, just in case.

She walked around to the back of the house, shivering as a cool breeze brushed her bare arms. She wrapped them around herself and tried to warm up. After a few minutes of walking, she heard voices coming from somewhere near the porch.

"Umm…is he ok?"

"How should I know? I can't really see what's wrong!"

"…"

"Jeez, Nudge! You can talk now!"

Feeling like she'd heard quite enough, Max thundered into the clearing, yelling "Iggy!" at the top of her voice. She was ready to chew him out with the lecture to end all lectures, when her eyes landed on the scene before her.

Gazzy was shaking his head in a sort of astonished amazement. Nudge was silent, gaping like a fish with a broken jaw. Angel's occasional laughter could be heard somewhere near the second floor of the house. And Fang was passed out on the floor, a look of shock adorning his handsome features. And Iggy…

Maz stared for a minute, then slapped her hand to her forehead with a loud crack that made everyone jump. "I can't believe this." She grumbled. "I can't believe I didn't think of this before."

"Think of what?" Gazzy asked curiously.

"That Iggy wouldn't be affected by that damn solar eclipse anyway!"

END

(**A/N: **Yup, it's over. Random, no? The ending just popped into my head one day. Just to clarify, the eclipse is _that. _Since looking at it ruins your eyesight, the flock would fear it while flying and Iggy would have no problem with it :) Thus, this is "The One Thing They Can't Do" .I'm sorry for the long wait! It's been a busy summer for me. Oh, and anything that looks like bashing in here, it isn't. Everything's all in good fun, I mean no offence to anyone!

Review, or the power of _that _will return to haunt you! BWAHAHAHAHA!

**Review Responses**

**Iggysbabe: **Hehe, thanks! I love randomness in the Flock too :D

**Humfumfiddilyum: **Thank you! This is the randomest story I've ever written. I'm sorry it took so long to update!


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